Caleb wanted the arm. It wasn’t fair. Mikey didn’t deserve it. He watched as all their friends crowded around Mikey admiring the fresh metal. The steel skin shone like a trophy in the sunlight. That was when Caleb smashed his hand through the window. He didn’t think about it; he just swung and the glass shattered around his knuckles, slices of it going through his flesh. The shock of it stopped him from feeling the pain. He felt elated. But the blood brought him back.

It wasn’t enough though. His hand was just broken, and that was worse. Sitting at the dining table, next to his twin, they were identical in every way. Only Mikey had an arm of metal, and Caleb had a hand wrapped in plaster. And there was Mikey, cutting up Caleb's food, using that beautiful arm so naturally. Caleb couldn't take his eyes off it. He wanted the arm. He thought about it long and hard and just after his cast came off he knew what he would do. It was a sunny day when he walked down to the autotrain tracks.

*

Caleb was in that beautiful state between waking and sleeping.

He could feel the hard, sun-warmed metal beneath his head and he could smell the hot dust and gravel that puffed through the air as the warm wind buffeted about him. The metal vibrated under his head and a distant rumble travelled through him. He stretched his arm out across the tracks. The blood pumped through him with the same rhythm of the autotrain.

Caleb blinked open his eyes and the vision disappeared. The clarity of the memory was lost. He couldn't get it back. He gave up trying and stretched out, the sheets rustling under his weight. His leg ached where it connected. He'd just got it his left thigh fixed.  He couldn’t remember how long it had taken for his other parts to stop aching after surgery but there was no point comparing anyway; each part was different.

As he swung out of bed his left leg clumped heavily on the floor. He wasn’t used to the weight of it. He looked down at the foot and commanded the toes to curl. It wasn’t second nature yet, but he was coming along. The doctor said he was adjusting quicker than anyone he had ever seen before. It filled Caleb with pride.

Walking was still tricky. Caleb limped a lot and he couldn’t walk for long. He could feel the strain on his heart. It was alarming and exciting. The laborious pumping of the organ was a reminder of what had happened to him. Of what had been replaced.

By the time he reached the living room he was out of breath. He collapsed on the sofa to get it back. He was just about to attempt the journey to the kitchen when the door cam buzzed. He glanced over to the screen and saw Suee waiting.

‘Come in,’ he said, and the door released at his voice.

‘Yo!’ Suee said, her voice bright and light. ‘How you doing?’

Caleb shrugged, and tried to stand up.

‘Sit down, idiot,’ Suee said. ‘What d'you want?’

‘I want to get up and get something myself for a change.’

‘You shouldn’t overexert yourself. Most people wouldn’t have left the bed this soon after an op like yours. You’re going to hurt yourself if you’re not careful.’

‘I’m fine,’ Caleb said, and he stood up and staggered towards the kitchen.

Suee rushed over to help him, but he waved her off and made it to the kitchen counter.

The effort finished him. He sat heavily on a stool and looked at his little sister.

‘What d'you want?’ she asked again.

‘Coffee.’

‘I saw Mikey yesterday,’ she said as she put coffee on.

‘Oh?’

She nodded.

He stroked the table in front of him with a metal finger. He could feel Suee waiting so he asked:

‘How is he?’

‘Really good. Yeah, really good. His work is taking off.’

Suee handed him his mug. He took it gently with his artificial hand. His control was perfect. 

‘He wants to see you, Cal.’

Caleb took a sip.

‘It’s good,’ he said.

‘He misses you.’

Caleb sipped again.

‘I don’t understand you. What’s the problem? Why won’t you see him?’

‘Because I don’t want to.’

‘Why?’

‘Does it matter?’

‘He’s our brother!’

‘So?’

‘What happened, Cal?’

‘Nothing.’

‘Fine,’ Suee sighed. ‘Have it your way.’

Caleb felt a pang as the front door snapped shut behind her. He thought about calling her back

*

Caleb was terrible with Suee when she was born, but for some inexplicable reason, Suee liked him. ‘Cal,’ was Suee’s first word. When Suee started going to school, things changed. They became friends. Caleb always waited for her at the school gates at home time. He would ask her how her day had been and would listen quietly as she told him everything. He would help her with her homework, then play with her until Mikey came home, brown with dirt and smelling of sweat and fun and games and friends.

Caleb remembered a conversation he had with Mikey once. They were in their room after lights out.

‘Cal?’

‘Mmm?’

‘You and Su are pretty close.’

‘I guess.’

‘Closer than you and me.’

Caleb thought about that.

‘Not really,’ he said, eventually.

‘No, it’s true, Mikey insisted. ‘You never hang out with me anymore.’

‘I do too. What am I doing right now?’

‘We’re in bed, doofus; you have to spend time with me now.’

 ‘Do you want to do something tomorrow?’ Caleb asked, and he meant it.

‘Sure. What?’

‘Dunno.’

‘Brian showed me this awesome place yesterday! We’re planning on building a fort there. You could come and help us tomorrow?’

‘Brian?’ Caleb asked.

‘Yeah, he knows the best places! You know his parents let him run around outside until eight o’clock and they don’t give him a lights out until ten. How cool is that?’

‘Cool,’ Caleb said. ‘I don’t know if I can go out tomorrow. Maybe we can do it some other time.’

 ‘Oh. Okay,’ said Mikey, and he lay back down in the bed.

*

It was a month before Caleb could leave his flat.

As he limped along the street on one of his walks he thought about calling Suee for the umpteenth time. He missed her. He didn’t call her. Instead, he ordered a takeaway and waited for the delivery. Then, on impulse, he opened his metallic palm and selected the phone function. He stared at Mikey’s name on the display. Then he pressed it. And then his hand was ringing and another hand was ringing somewhere on the other side of town and Caleb was imagining Mikey looking at his twin palm and wondering whether to take the call or not.

‘Hello?’

‘Mikey,’ Caleb said.

‘Cal. How are you?’

‘Good. Really good.’

‘Long time.’

‘True.’

‘How’s your leg?’

‘Healing.’

‘You walking yet?’

‘Left the flat for the first time today.’

‘Good! That’s good.’

‘Yeah.’

Silence.

‘Cal?’

‘Yes?’

‘Just wondering if you were still there.’

‘Still here.’

Silence.

‘Cal. Can I come and see you?’

Silence.

‘Cal?’

‘It’s good to hear your voice, Mikey,’ Caleb said, and he ended the call.

*

After Mikey got the arm, things changed. They were no longer identical, and it stung. Then, when Caleb got his first part, things changed even more. Caleb would sometimes catch Mikey looking at him and he couldn’t understand his expression, but he understood that things were different. They were different, and come what may, they weren’t a team. Mikey didn’t understand why. But Caleb knew.

It wasn’t his fault. That Mikey got his arm.

It wasn’t Caleb’s fault. That Mikey got his arm.

*

When Caleb woke up his left shoulder ached at the connection. He got up and as he shaved and showered, he thought about his finances.

If he wanted to upgrade his shoulder it would have to be elective and that would cost a lot. He wanted his right leg replaced too. He felt incomplete. He would have to get more hours at the factory, but even with twice as many and the staff discount he couldn’t see the surgery happening before New Year. Additionally, an elective would force him off work again. He didn’t know if the discount applied in that sort of situation.

Work went like clockwork. Caleb made small talk with the other guys on the line. They were all made up of parts. No one was complete. He didn’t know if they wanted to be. He didn’t ever ask. But it occurred to him, as he was pulling scrap metal off the junk truck, that one of them might know a cheaper way for him to upgrade.

Broaching the subject was difficult. People’s parts were a sensitive topic. And, of course, there was their job. He couldn’t ask just anyone about the black market, and he didn’t know who else might be listening. RoMechMen Inc. was the only official provider of parts. No one could compete with them, but there were always options for those that didn’t have the cash. Some of them were good. Caleb knew it. He knew some people on the line had custom tech.

Caleb chewed on the thought all day. He watched everyone, cataloguing their parts and analysing their mannerisms, trying to work out who would talk.

*

His name was Rohan. He was quiet, but he had an easy smile and didn’t seem to mind company. He had parts Caleb had never seen before.

 ‘Hello,’ Caleb said when he approached him for the first time.

Rohan nodded and smiled.

‘You need some help there?’ Caleb asked.

Rohan was on the junk truck. He shrugged and Caleb took it as a sign to pitch in. They worked in silence all morning. Come lunch break they walked to a quiet part of the yard and sat together. They watched the other guys milling around and said nothing. And then the break was over and back to work they went.

When Caleb got home that night he wondered if he should have said more. He wondered if he had tried hard enough. He thought about what he could say to Rohan the next day. Everything sounded stupid in his head. He rehearsed in the mirror. It all sounded worse there.

The next day came.

‘Come for a drink? ̓ Rohan asked Caleb.

Caleb nodded.

At the bar, Rohan asked:

‘How did you end up on the line? ̓

The question was so direct that Caleb spoke before thinking.

‘Parts, ̓ he said. ̒I needed parts.̓

‘Too much recovery time.̓

Caleb nodded.

‘That ̓s the problem.̓

Caleb nodded again.

‘When did you get your first? ̓ Rohan asked him.

‘I was fourteen.̓

‘Mind if I ask how it happened? ̓

Caleb thought about it. He could tell about the train. But it wasn’t the train that did it.

‘I wanted the arm,̓ he said.

‘Was it worth it? ̓

Caleb shrugged.

‘I’m not sure yet. What about you? ̓

Rohan smiled.

‘It was worth it.̓

‘An accident? ̓ Caleb asked him.

‘No. I wanted the arm.̓

‘How old were you? ̓

‘Ten.̓

Caleb whistled.

‘How? ̓

‘My father was a carpenter. I used one of his table saws. He wasn’t impressed. You? ̓

‘Crushed. Autotrain.̓

‘Laid on the tracks? ̓

Caleb nodded.

‘You’ve got some stones.̓

‘Made a mess.̓

‘They had to take the whole thing off, huh? ̓

Caleb nodded.

‘Not me. Had to do my shoulder separate.̓

Caleb saw an opening there. He chose not to take it. It was just a relief to talk to someone who understood. This was the first time he had told the truth about his 'accident'. He could ask Rohan some other time. For now he just needed to talk.

‘How did you do that? ̓ Caleb asked.

‘Car accident. Crushed. ̓

‘Painful.'

‘Yes. But for a moment...̓

‘Ecstasy,̓ Caleb finished.

‘Exactly,̓ Rohan agreed.

He smiled and took a sip of his drink.

‘How’s your heart? ̓ Rohan asked.

‘Stronger,̓ Caleb said.

‘Yes, but how is your heart? ̓

No one had ever asked Caleb that before. After a moment he said:

‘I’m not sure. How’s yours? ̓

Rohan didn’t answer. They drank together quietly and then, when they finished, Rohan stood up.

‘See you tomorrow?’ he said as he swiped his palm over the sensor to pay.

When Caleb went to bed that night, he fell asleep immediately. He dreamed of parts.

*

‘I’m getting new parts,’ Rohan said, as he and Caleb examined the parts in front of them.

‘What are you getting done?’ Caleb asked him.

‘Chest. Back. Neck.’

‘All at once?’ Caleb asked him.

‘Best to do them together. The recovery is worse when the flesh has to fuse at the connection. You know what it’s like. Those areas are worse than arms and legs.’

‘But how’ll you afford it?’ Caleb asked.

He hadn’t brought it up since they’d become friends, but now seemed like the time.

Rohan tapped his nose with a metal finger.

‘Ways and means, my friend. Ways and means.’

*

Caleb visited Rohan while he was recovering at home. He looked terrible, but Caleb had never seen him look so pleased with himself. He understood.

*

Caleb had had his first arm for three years before he decided he needed a new part. He thought about it for a really long time. It isn’t easy, removing parts of yourself.

 As he worked it out he tinkered; deconstructing and reconstructing tech. Making parts. Mikey would be out, with his friends, with his girlfriends, playing games, growing up, being a boy, becoming a man. Caleb would be in his room, magnifying glass before him, metal and wire, power, sparks, surges, Caleb was growing metal. Suee sometimes tried to help, but she never really understood.

When Mikey got to a certain age, he started to make things too. He worked in wood. He made things for the house. He made things for his friends. Caleb made adjustments to their arms. He customised Mikey’s arm for woodwork. Mikey always gushed about how much he loved his new parts. Caleb felt the praise was too much.

Mikey apprenticed with a carpenter. Caleb went to university – mechanical engineering. Mikey would visit Caleb sometimes. They would go to parties. Caleb hated it.

Caleb got a job with RoMechMen Inc. as a design analyst. He wanted to be a proper designer but they didn’t have openings. At least that’s what he was told. He saw all the parts that came through the company. He saw all the innovations. He innovated. He wanted to remake himself, but there was no way.

‘There's no way.’ That's what the head of his department said, when he asked if he could present a design.

‘It's good. They'll want to see this,’ Caleb insisted, ‘They—’

‘There's no way.’

There was no way and it made him feel so hopeless.

He wasn't paying attention when he drove home that night. Later, in the hospital, Mikey asked why he was driving at all.

‘Why wasn't the car on auto?’ he asked.

Why wasn't it? Caleb couldn't remember. Maybe he had known what he was doing all along. But none of that mattered; when they told him he needed a new leg he could have cried. He hadn't been so happy for as long as he could remember.

*

‘I need more parts,’ Caleb told Rohan.

‘What’re your funds like?’ Rohan asked.

Caleb shook his head.

‘Working on the floor? They are what they are.’

‘You at least saving some?’

‘As much as I can.’

‘This is how it works with me. I make the parts myself. Cuts down a whole lot of cost. I know a guy who can fit just about anything. His services aren’t cheap, but...’ Rohan shrugged, ‘his job isn’t simple.’

‘Could he... you know,’ Caleb wasn’t sure how to say it so he just said it: ‘Could he amputate, or will I have to do it myself?’

Rohan looked at him.

‘Amputation costs extra. Which would you prefer anyhow? A stranger taking a part from you, or you taking yourself apart?’

So he got to work. Making the necessary parts wasn’t easy. It took up all his time. He worked then designed. Work, design, work, design, work, build, day, night, day, night, time? He didn’t have time anymore. Not for anyone. Suee came around. He never answered the door. He was salvaging parts. He was soldering, burning, connecting, revitalising. He was growing metal. He was recreating himself. And when it was finished he showed it to Rohan.

‘What are you going to do? Rohan asked him.

‘Clean cut. Just below the shoulder. I can cauterise the wound. I can’t take off the shoulder without medical help, though. So, you can see here,’ Caleb pointed to the shoulder, ‘I’ve made the shoulder separately. But it can connect easily like this,’ Caleb said and he slid the shoulder and the arm together. ‘And they go live. So if your man can’t do my shoulder this time around I can get the arm now, and connect the shoulder later when I get more money together.’

Rohan nodded.

‘It’s impressive work. I like the detailing. Aesthetic and practical. Can I hold it?’

Caleb handed him the arm, shoulder attached. Rohan lifted it up and weighed it in his hands.

‘Light!’

Caleb smiled.

‘I experimented with a few different alloys. It’s difficult getting the right materials together when you’re working from salvage. But most people don’t know what they’re throwing away. There’s a goldmine in that junk truck.’

‘They never asked you to do design when you worked up there?’ Rohan asked him.

Caleb shook his head.

‘They missed a trick. You’re really good.’

They looked at Caleb’s creation.

‘It’s beautiful,’ Rohan said. ‘When are you going to do it?’

‘Tomorrow night.’

The door cam rang. Caleb froze.

‘Who’s that?’ Rohan asked, pointing at the screen.

Caleb looked.

‘Suee,’ he said. ‘Quick. Give me the arm.’

Rohan handed the arm over and Caleb took it into the other room. He stashed it under his bed, came into the living room and gave the command. The door opened and Suee stepped in. She stopped when she saw Rohan.

‘Um, hi there,’ she said.

‘Hello.’ Rohan stepped forwards and proffered a metallic hand. ‘I’m Rohan.’

‘This is Rohan, my friend from work,’ Cal said at the same time.

Suee took the hand. She stared at it. She stared at Rohan.

‘You're Cal's friend?’ she asked.

‘Yes.’

‘Oh. But Cal doesn't really make friends,’ she said.

‘Oh?’

Silence fell. Rohan smiled at Suee.

‘What are you doing here, Su?’ Caleb asked eventually.

‘I can’t drop in on my brother every once in a while?’ she asked him. ‘You haven’t been answering my calls. I’ve been worried.’

‘Sorry,’ Caleb said, looking down at the ground. ‘I’ve been busy.’

‘With what?’

‘Work.’

‘That’s never stopped you from calling before.’

‘I’ve taken on extra shifts.’

‘Since when?’

‘Last month.’

‘How many?’

‘Enough.’

‘How many’s enough?’

‘Su...’

‘What?’

Caleb looked at Rohan.

‘I’ll get going then,’ Rohan said.

‘Yes, do,’ Suee said to him.

‘Su!’

‘What!’

‘I’ll see you tomorrow,’ Rohan said and he left.

Caleb stared helplessly at the door.

‘What’s going on, Cal?’ Suee asked him. ‘What are you doing with that guy?’

‘He’s my friend.’

‘That thing? A friend? He’s barely human! Have you seen how many parts he’s got? He’s a clunkie!’

‘You don't know anything about him.’

‘I don’t need to, I’ve seen his type before. They’re all over the hospital. People losing themselves. Cutting away themselves. Turning into machines. You don’t get that much silver by accident.’

‘So what?’ Caleb asked. ‘What if he is a clunkie? How does that make him less of a person?’

‘Caleb! How can people stay human if they turn themselves into machines?’

‘What’s more human than wanting to better yourself?’

‘Better yourself! Is that what you think they do? Better themselves? What are you talking about?’

‘You never understood metal,’ Caleb said.

‘What was that?’

‘I said, you never understood metal.’

‘Oh, I understand metal. It’s cold and hard and ugly. Maybe you don’t understand metal.’

Caleb looked at Suee. Her face was crumpled into a mask of disappointment. How could she pity him when he was so close to being his best self?

‘Why are you here, Su?’

‘To see you.’

‘You’ve seen me.’

‘Is that it? You don’t want to tell me what you’ve been doing all this time? You don’t want to tell me what you’ve been doing with him? We used to tell each other everything.’

‘Yeah, me and Mikey used to tell each other everything too.’

‘What, so I’m like Mikey now? You don’t agree with me about something so you don’t want to engage with me anymore? Is that what happened to you two? A stupid fight about nothing? That’s why you don’t talk to him? You’re ridiculous. I don’t know why Mikey even bothers trying with you after all this time!’

‘You don’t understand.’ Caleb said. His voice was low and he couldn’t bring himself to look at her.

‘Then tell me! Help me understand.’

‘I can’t. You wouldn’t.’

‘How do you know? Why don’t you at least try? What is there to lose?’ Suee sounded desperate as she spoke and Caleb felt more desperate the more she spoke. 

‘Try!’ Suee begged him.

‘It was because of you!’ Caleb snapped.

Suee frowned at him.

‘What was?’

‘His accident,’ Caleb said, and as he said the words he wanted to grab them and stuff them back in his mouth. He wanted to rewind the night.

‘What?’ Suee asked.

‘I didn’t... No that’s not... I didn’t mean to say... That’s not what I meant…’

‘You think his accident was my fault?’

‘No! No, I don’t! I’m... I’m just talking shit, Su. I’m tired. I’ve been working a lot recently. You can’t listen to me. That’s not what I meant.’

‘Then, why did you say it?’ Suee asked. Caleb could hear the knot in her throat.

‘Because I’m stupid,’ he said. ‘I’m sorry, Su. Let me make you a drink. Let’s talk for a bit. I’m so sorry, I wasn’t thinking, it was just the first thing that came out of my mouth. I really didn’t mean it.’

‘I... I think I’m going to go home now, actually,’ Suee said. Her voice was tiny. It could barely get out.

‘No, please Su. Just stay. Have a drink with me!’

Suee shook her head and turned to the door.

‘I’m glad you’re okay,’ she whispered. And then she was gone. Caleb was alone. His insides ached.

*

Caleb wanted to call Suee, but he didn’t know what to say. The thought of talking to her sent him into a panic. He couldn’t control his nerves. He was distracted. He didn’t notice when his arm got trapped in the conveyer belt. It wasn’t what he had planned. He could see the compressor up ahead as he walked alongside the belt. He heard a few distant shouts and assumed people had noticed his predicament. But all he could think was: that compressor will take my shoulder with it. And he hoped to God that Rohan would get to him first.

When the compressor came down on him he couldn't think. He could hear the bones crunch as they shattered and splintered into tiny pieces, jagged edged and slick with blood. He felt his muscles tear. He felt his skin split. He felt himself slip away and it was like flying into Paradise.

Caleb woke up in a dim room. His mouth was dry. He heard someone move.

‘Mikey?’ he asked, and his heart pounded. Nerves. Anticipation. He was relieved when he realised that it was Rohan. He was disappointed.

‘Did you get to me in time?’ he asked.

Rohan smiled.

‘Check out your new part,’ he said.

Rohan helped Caleb through his recovery. No one else came around. They talked parts, as they always had, and sometimes Caleb told Rohan about Mikey. Sometimes he told him about Suee.

Rohan told him one day:

‘Suee came round when you were still out.’

Caleb blinked.

‘What d’you mean?’

‘When you were out cold. A day or two after your part was fitted. I wanted to tell you sooner. But then I couldn’t.  You were so happy with your part, I didn’t want to ruin it for you.’

Caleb swallowed.

‘She saw me?’ he asked.

Rohan nodded.

‘She saw my part? What did she say?’

‘Nothing much. Not to me.’

‘What did she say?’

‘It was hard to hear. She was muttering. She didn’t want me close.’

‘What do you think she said?’

‘She just seemed sad. The saddest girl in the world. I never thought a person could see so much silver and be so sad.’ Rohan frowned. ‘She was going to take your hand, but then she didn’t. She stroked your face. And I think she said something about Mikey.’

‘What did you hear?’

Rohan looked at Caleb with his steady gaze.

‘I don’t lie,’ he said.

‘Just tell me.’

‘You could have been Mikey.’

Caleb swallowed.

‘Anything else?’ he asked and his voice came out hoarse and hollow.

‘She left. As she walked past me she said: I’m not coming back. She asked me to look after you. And then she was gone. I thought you should know.’

*

She had told him what would happen. She had said she wouldn't watch him do it. He remembered banging on the door, his face right up to the door cam.

‘Suee!’ he shouted. ‘Suee!’

The cam was quiet. Caleb banged on the door for a long time. No response. He left. His heart was struggling and his arm was killing him. He felt lost.

*

Caleb found it hard to remember what Suee looked like. He couldn’t see Mikey’s face anymore, although he knew it was identical to his own. It had been so many years since he had seen them last, but still his insides ached. He thought of them often. He went to work, saved his money, thought of how his insides ached. He wanted them to stop. He went through the surgery. Again. Again. Again. Parts were lost and parts were gained, he was improved.

Rohan told him about completing. Caleb had always thought that being complete was getting a full set of outer parts but Rohan knew better.

‘Our organs are too weak to support that much silver. It puts too much strain on the heart. Being complete... well that means upgrading our insides as well.’

‘Upgrading our insides...’ Caleb said and in his head he heard Suee say ‘Losing our insides.’

It took several years before Rohan could complete, but he did it. Caleb went to the final surgery with him. Rohan took Caleb’s hand before he was wheeled into the operating room. Metal on metal, their fingers intertwined and Caleb looked at them and thought how amazing it was that he couldn’t really feel Rohan’s hand at all. Rohan squeezed and drew Caleb’s attention.

‘Cal,’ he said. ‘After this... well I don’t know how much of you I’ll know. I just want to tell you now. This is the final phase. This is where you’re heading. This is where we become beautiful.’

Caleb listened, smiled, and said goodbye. He wished him good luck. And then he left. As he walked home he thought it was about time he got himself another part.

*

Caleb kept remembering sweetness. Mikey was so sweet. Suee was so sweet. He kept remembering sweetness and his insides ached. He tried to turn his thoughts elsewhere. He tried to remember Rohan. What was it he used to say?

‘It was worth it.’

Why?

Caleb kept remembering the sweetness. Caleb kept remembering everything else.

Once, after Suee had left for good, Caleb had been talking to Rohan. He asked him:

‘Rohan. How’s your heart?’

‘I never had a heart to begin with,’ Rohan told him.

*

Mikey decided it was time to visit his brother. He went to the flat Caleb had lived in all those years ago and he hoped he was still living there. He buzzed the door cam and waited.

‘Hello?’ a voice said and a woman appeared on the screen.

‘Hi. Um... I’m looking for Caleb Turner,’ Mikey said.

‘Caleb Tur... oh, you mean the previous tenant? We got some mail for him a while back.’

The door opened and the woman came out.

 ‘I remember thinking it was strange – who gets mail now? I don’t know where he moved to,’ she said. ‘But if you wait here I can try to find that letter. I think we stashed it somewhere. Maybe you could give it to him if you find him?’

‘Yeah. Maybe,’ Mikey said and he waited.

She came back a short while later and handed Mikey a handwritten envelope.

‘Thank you,’ he said to the woman and he walked away. He found a place to sit and then he opened the envelope to see what was inside.

There was a letter and a key.

‘I’m sorry,’ the letter said. ‘If you ever get to read this I hope you know I’m sorry Mikey. Suee. I’m letting the flat go. All my stuff is in storage. You can find it in a unit on Bay street. I love you. Caleb.’

Mikey read the letter a few times over. He wasn’t quite sure how to react to it. He went to Bay Street. He found the unit and went inside.

It was full of tools. On a shelf at the back there were hundreds of wooden sculptures. They were all Mikey’s work. A movement in the corner of the unit made Mikey jump.

‘Hello,’ a voice said. It was detached, mechanical, monotone and yet strangely familiar.

Mikey looked at the speaker. It was a bot. A tall bot. An intricate one. Exquisitely designed. Mikey would recognise the workmanship anywhere.

‘Caleb?’ Mikey said. ‘Caleb. It’s me. Mikey. Your brother.’

He took a step towards the bot. The bot stepped back.

‘Hey, easy. I’m not going to hurt you,’ Mikey said.

‘No. No one can hurt me.’

‘No. No one can hurt you, Cal. Do you remember me? I’m your brother. Your twin.’ Mikey started to cry. He stood in the middle of the storage unit and he shook and the tears ran down his face and blurred his vision and in the haze he almost thought he could see his brother again.

‘Mikey,’ the bot said.

Mikey started.

‘Cal?’

‘I had a brother called Mikey,’ the bot said. ‘We grew up on Vine.'

‘Yes! Yes, we did!’

‘I remember my brother had a part put in. He lost his arm.’

‘That was me. Look,’ Mikey said, and he raised his arm up.

‘It was a car.’

‘We were playing on the street.’

‘He asked me to come out to play.’

‘You were always inside.’

‘I wanted to play. Suee did too. But Mikey said: "It’s not a game for girls." I said we should let her come. It would be fine. She could just watch. And Mikey said okay.’

‘It was a war game. We were cowboys and Indians, cops and robbers, Zulu warriors, we were fighting, and Suee wanted to fight too but I didn't want to let her.’

‘He said: "Sit down! You’re ruining it! You’re not big enough to fight with us!" And she said: "Am so!" I said: "Let her play." Mikey didn't like that. He kept saying she'd only get hurt and start crying. He said: "Girls ruin games like this!" and I said: "She’s not a girl! She’s Su."

"Am so!"

"Girl!" Mikey shouted at her. And then he shouted at me: "And you’re a girl too!"'

‘No I didn't,’ said Mikey. ‘I don't think you remember this right.’

‘I have perfect recall,’ the bot said.

‘Now, perhaps, but not then. I was really worried she'd get hurt. And I wanted to play with you Cal. You were always with Suee, I never got you to myself.’

‘"You're a girl!" he kept shouting and I kept saying I wasn't. Then Suee started shouting too: "Leave him alone!" Mikey started laughing and making fun: little sister defending girly brother. I didn't like that. I wanted him to take it back but there were no take backs.

‘That was when Suee pushed Mikey. Mikey pushed back. They were fighting and I wanted to stop them, but the pushing just got harder and harder.’

‘This wasn't how—’

‘Mikey slipped off the curb and fell. He called out. I saw it all. The car squealed and swerved but the driver wasn’t fast enough. Mikey was screaming. There was blood everywhere. I watched. Suee was wailing. Mikey was screaming. I was watching. And Mikey didn’t have an arm anymore. And all he could do was scream.’

‘It wasn't like thi—’

‘I kept telling myself it wasn't my fault. It wasn't anyone's fault. But I pushed him. I saw the car and I pushed him anyway. I remember such a lot. I keep remembering phrases: "It’s always worth it", "I never had a heart to begin with", "It was my fault". I keep remembering that my insides used to ache. I don't know what aching is like. I keep remembering that I had a weak heart. I have silver there now. I think I had a note to deliver. Am I supposed to deliver my note to you?’ the bot asked Mikey.

Mikey shook his head dumbly and shrugged.

‘It must be you. You’re the first visitor I’ve had. I've been waiting for a long time. Here,’ the bot said and he stepped forwards.

Mikey stepped back this time.

‘I'm not going to hurt you,’ the bot said. ‘Here,’ and it held out a memory card.

Mikey took it hesitantly.

‘I think I am going to go and make myself useful now,’ the bot said. And it walked past Mikey and into the world.